New Year's Eve 2021. I should be the happiest woman on earth! Saved, loved, beautiful family, grandkids...yet depression is the name of the game. I think much of this is covid related. I cannot believe how things have changed so very drastically and not in a good way. BUT, I feel something of a revival in the air so HOPE is not all lost. NYE in Times Square full of face masks and thin crowds. I hate this world and I'm glad it's not my final destination. But, I am depressed with a sadness that I cannot rectify or explain. I'm afraid to party. I'm afraid to talk to people...So different from how things were but God doesn't want me like this either. What to do? Mood lifted bigly at the beach. I have got to live on the beach. If I'm ever going to up and create a moving mess, it's got to be to be back on the beach. That place makes me feel peaceful. I also wish I had a companion. A helper. Someone who would care for me and take care of me and help me. Not in this life I imagine...Let's see what the coming year brings.
