I hate my job, I hate my life, I hate feeling un wanted here. I hate everything I can think of, except for that beautiful little baby, my son, my daughter, Ayden and the animals. I hate my body, I hate my face, I hate my frizzy hair, I hate how fat I am, I hate that I don't care. Hate it all. Hate, hate hate. I hate Carroll for dying, I hate meeting him, I hate Big Nick, I hate meeting him. I hate that I'm such a loser...Whatever.

My misery, created by me...

Why can't we just have a peaceful home existence? Why do I take care of this baby all day long and the first thing I hear is "Nico said you're going to get an apartment on Desoto Rd?" 
Why can't I hear, "how was the baby?" What did she do today?" Why do I have to feel so damn useless, or, should I say, useful as long as I'm performing a service...Why does everything always have to change? There is no interest in my life, and, whatever, rightfully so. I just need to let it all go. It's over. I'm alone. Get on with life. Figure it out what it is that I'm gonna do and do it.